Hiatus

So, to my two readers, Globus and Amy I guess I should say where the hell I have been.
Well drunk, ...um yeah thats it. I dont know why but I have been in a fun fay lately. Ok, a lie. I actually was in a really bad accident at work that I am personaly glad I survived. So my writing went on hold. Then I self medicated with teh booze! So while not a total lie, it was awsome to have people visit me while I was in bed and get me shit faced with out even having to get dressed!!!! I hope all is well on your ends. Be safe, and believe me I mean it.

Weekend madness by the numbers!

Folks first off, i am a damn plagiarist. I stole this Idea from Amy and her insomniac musings, who stole it further from else where. I believe I know now how the Associated Press got so caught up with their coverage of this last hurricane. Any who by the numbers... Easy!!!
12. The number of times I failed at bowling a frame of more than 150...(god I suck)
14. The number of Jim Beam and cokes I consumed on Sat night! Woo hoo to having the pull of being a regular who tips well so the bartender drives you home at no charge!!!!(Well maybe the cost of my dignity)
1. The number hot best friends of the hot chick who stood me up that I made out with publicly in front of said stander upper hot chick!! This one is for some reason interested in continuous correspondence and future swapping of DNA.
4. The number of dirty looks stander upper gave me as I enjoyed the company of stander uppers hot friend. (Great success!)
2. The number of bottles of Bushmills that we went through at the party I threw last night!
11. The number of people who came to said gathering!
0. The number of regrets I have after such a fabulous weekend!!! Besides this hot friend of the stander upper winch is actually a much better version as she is not high maintenece and loves football!!!

YAY for friday!

Oh yes, its very much that day of the week that causes endless joy in my lackluster life! Folks its Friday, and today snuffy is going to go bowling,....well er drinking with a round or two thrown in. Lets hope that fellow bowler/ prospect Code Named Completely Gorgeous helps snuffy get a strike!!!!
This person has been a friend for eons, and while snuffy has always found her majestic, I never believed that this person was even remotely interested. It took the Divine intervention of her friends to smack the back of the head, and say "Hey stupid, she thinks your cute!" Lies obviously. This sick trap will work only cause whilst liqueured up, I care as much as a poo slinging chimp! Besides I never was one to worry over these things. Here's to hoping for fireworks!

My mind At its worst

Folks it has been a hectic week, and as the blog name states I am having the usual problems figuring out who the hell I am. I am a slightly Conservative well mannered and liked individual who on the surface appears to be calm, rational, and in control. There is however a slight problem with this. I am actually quite the opposite. You see I have been fighting myself since the war, and it gets really hard sometimes(Especially times of stress) to control my rage. I have a number of things that will flash through my mind daily that I barely control. One moment it is grief, the next hate, I really cannot stand it. As I stated in my last post, I have acted out on my feelings. My in ability to control that basic instinct tells me that I am loosing progress that I felt I made. This poses a problem as well as snuffy now stays awake for days on in now. I hate not being able to sleep as it also ads to the stress, which in turn deprives sleep. My only therapy lately seems to be the hooch, but I do NOT want to wind up she stinks ass homeless drunk you see on the street corners.
The left tards in this country do not help. They provide me with endless speak of baby killer and self victimization that in this country is impossible to find.
But until I figure out how to over come my hatred of shrinks(quacks) I will have to adapt and suffer. Ah the price of freedom.

Why???

Why is it that snuffy can never drink in peace?? I verry much understand the whole freedom of speach thingy, and glad that I am a defender of said freedom. However there are people whom should just be told to close their mouths or die. (Chi Con ish?) (Mabee more like Uncle Vlad) You would be right. Which is why I struggle with theese things. However with freedom of speach comes the freedom of violent reaction. And while it verry well got me arrested, it earned me ever great satisfaction!!!!
I was at my new favorite watering hole, enjoying a nice white russian, when this stupid bastard walks up to me, reads my shirt and and asks:
"You millitary?"
"Yeah."
"I just wanted to say that everyone in the new movement thinks you guys are a bunch of smelly merciless baby killers."
" Well I do defend freedom so speach, so Im glad you are able to voice your opinion, no matter how stupid it is."
This is where he started to grate my nerves.
"When Barrack (Jesus almighty messiah hussain savior alah buda christ lord god) Obama becomes president we arent going to have a millitary becouse he thinks you are just devils who hurt childeren for fun too. "
"Sir, seriously just let me enjoy my drink. Its been a long day and I am really tired of stupid."
"I hope your friends are all dead."
I highly doubt he saw it coming, but believe me I threw the best haymaker I could muster, cought that son of a bitch square on the nose, broke a knuckle, and smiled as the sherrif took me out side to arest me. Luckily I only face a small fine!!!!! Being a goody two shoes most of the time, means that first offenses are usualy looked over. So here is to the stupid fuck that will hopefully remember that freedom of speach comes with the freedom of retribution.

War

War, War never changes,..lol (Fall out joke)
No seriously, just when i think its over, snuffy gets stop lossed. This drives me bat shit crazy. I was just starting to grow my ridiculous white trash beard out, and enjoy my job with all my weekends off when i get recalled.
Fuck it, i might as well re enlist for life as it apears im going to be in for the long haul.
On a positive note, Snuffy is drinking substansial amounts of the alcohilic wonder known as wild turkey!!!!
And the JOB is good.
So here is to never getting to grow my retarded red beard.(Sigh)

The End

Folks,..well the two of you who actually read this, it is indeed the end. I am finally going to be done with my millitary career. I am rather sad at the death of this chapter in my life, but also overjoyed that the last thing keeping me anchored down in my old life will be gone. I look back rather fondly of my comrades fallen in battle, and my many more who still carry on their service. I wish I too could have, but alas there is nothing one can do to change the circumstanses in which they face. Along with this end in my service, I will be saying good bye to a great many people who have ment the world to me. It is time to move on to different things, and on with life. On the up side I get to grow my burly ass beard out and scare the living shit out of strangers. Also it means more blog neglect as I wont be doing bullshit reports and crap for said army. It really sucks balancing a verry much full time job, and army stuff.
I am intirely too drunk, and un carring to continue this bullshit. To the few of you assholes whom I served with that read, but refuse to blog, I wish you guys all the luck. Snuff

Ah, weddings....

Yesterday was a very popular American holiday. July 4Th. Independence day. And what better way t enjoy this Holiday than by watching two souls give up their freedoms with an ill advised marriage that neither of the couple thinks is really a good idea to start with!
Folks, I cant help but feel that a shotgun wedding would have more joy than this one.
For starters, the bride who was on premises was an hour late as she refused to come out to participate in "The happiest day of her life". The groom looking both foolish for appearing, and doomed when he saw her, was the butt of many hushed jokes at my bench. She was crying before she even made it to him for her father to pass her on to him, and when he went to shake the poor grooms hand, he looked as though he would kill him, nearly jerking his arm out of socket.
So the priest began his rhetoric about unity, whilst the couple half hearted repeated their false vows, and ended it with the kind of peck that just said"Mistake". Then she broke down realising the error in her ways, and tried to leave! Ofcousrse she could not, as the reception was to take place. This really caused a riot, as there were tons of people to dance with her, but none would with him!! They literally turned him down. His own mother wouldn't!!!! Fucking fabulous! Well, enjoy folks, I did!

WOW!!!

Folks, it has been some time since your humble host has posted. Since last time I updated this poorly written lame attempt at a blog, I was slaving away at underpaying bullshit job. NO MORE!!!! I could no longer stand the whole work over night, while my friends go drinking, and pick up new girlfriends whilst I slave away, getting threatened by hobos, and disgruntled ex employees of billionaire bastard that I guarded.
You should have seen my bosses face. I told him to eat shit and die twice! I am super happy as this new job works a lot more, but does it on unimportant weekdays, and never on weekends!!!! Cheap bars, drunk girls, and disgruntled taxi drivers here I come!!!
I cannot wait! This new job pays handsomely, and It gives PAID holidays!!! My boss is super fucking cool, and snuffy is ready to rock that freshly obtained divorce! I have not had a chance to because of Hebrew slave job.
Gotta cut this a bit short, as I am about to go Bat shit crazy with joy of new found freedom and money!!!!!!!

Blog neglect.

It would appear that I have failed at updating this in a timely manor. I really suck at remembering things, especially when I am busy.
I have been so damn busy that not one drop of alcohol has hit my lips in a week! This is a crime against humanity and will continue no more! In fact it is 6:45 in the AM, I just got off of work, tired like Hebrew slave, and drinking a nice cold brew as I type one handed!
Maybe after I get a few and unwind I will write something of value, but if not I will tomorrow.

not so fun things

While I am no crybaby, the last month really fucked me up. I cannot sleep at all. Between my moms stroke, my working non stop, and fighting everyone around me, I am seriously fucking tired. For example.
My mother had a pretty bad stroke, and it would apear that all responsobility for her care taking is on my shoulders. My sister, nah that bitch is buisy. My stepdad? Nope. He is only married to her, and the NBA finals dont play in the hospital. My cousins, who the hell is my mom seems to be their response. I am not on the best terms with said mother but she is the birthgiver. However inept at parenting she was I do owe her that.
Werk? I would leave hospital, werk, then go back to hospital. Bullshit. That was bad enough, but now that said birthgiver is out of hospital, I am back doing 8 to 16 hour shifts. I werked 24 hours yesterday. Now on my day off, I am too goddamned tired to even socialise. My sister had the nerve to call me and ask if I would go help her at her house after she left me high and dry with the birthgiver in the hospital for 2 weeks. "No, fuck off" was the only responce to her I could give becouse my ass was dragging so poorly that I couldnt think of anything better. Wasted opertunity.
Hope yet remains however, as I have BOOZE! This is the magic elixir that fixes all problems! It is the best thing on earth next to the opposite sex, and doesn't complain if I abuse it! So cheer me on my newly found alcoholism, and help me drink till I'm out cold!

The ex part 2

As I was recovering in Kuwait from my injuries, I had the luxuries of hot food, and Internet. While I was in a chat room, I met a super cool and rather pretty girl online. The main thing that grabbed my attention was that she was ultra smart. I am a sucker for smart people as they are good at pointing out how smart I am not, and 2 they usually are caring individuals. I wont go through the whole shebang, but this wonderful person chatted with me everyday through therapy, and wouldn't let me get down on my self about getting hurt. This meant a bunch to me as I was quite depressed. It was such an unmanly injury. No one gets to brag about it, and my buddies were still fighting.
I left for Iraq again, where at the time we had not Internet. Stayed Abbot a month longer, and came home via a crazy ass 2 week stint in Germany! another story, promise.
Upon arrival home, I was notified that I had 62 days be for returning to Iraq.
Immediately, I began my hunt for Bel.
Upon arrival to her house I was told she moved. They wouldn't tell me why, and so like last time I walked out rather hurt.
I went to my house where I did as most vets do anyway, I went to my room for quiet and alone time. I was already dealing with a lot of shit, and didn't need this as well. This continued for about 3 weeks. I was pretty depressed all around and was not looking forward to returning to hell. Then It got worse, my beautiful prom date buddy, decided she couldn't stand the sight of me and told me the truth. The ex had a condom bust, and wound up prego thus attempting to make a relationship with said accident for the babies sake. That was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. I can say allot about my ex, but no one fucks with her Baby. She is a fabulous mother, well used to be any who. does some questionable shit now.
After this news was delivered I was sad and happy at the same time. There was a legit reason, and who was I to judge. 29 women in 10 moths of parties in Germany gives me the right to judge no one. So my buddy takes me out to the strip club! She is awesome like that! And she gets me totally drunk. Took me home after a couple of hours and decided at that point she was going to take care of me. She never left my side the rest of the time I was home. Off I went to Baghdad, into the hell on earth, and every week she answered my calls less and less. She told me she was out working on something. That she knew I wouldn't mind. One day I called and heard the trade mark opening to a conversation. And the beginning of the end. I in the middle of 6 months in Sadr city heard my Bel. She asked If I was mad at her, or disappointed in her. Of course I was not. I was actually proud of her for attempting to make it work.
I informed her that I had gotten to come home on leave, and that I would arrive Christmas day! She was super happy as was everyone else.
On the flight home I was sick to my stomach, and shaking. I missed this woman, bad.
As I walked down the ramp to her I swear to god, I nearly fainted. I was getting tunnel vission, and hyperventilating. She walked to me in the middle, with the most beautiful child Ive ever seen in her arms. Her quote verbatim. "I will go through rain, snow and sand to be with you. All I ask is that you accept my son." I told her accept him, he is beautiful.
She took me to the family Christmas party because naturally being my family, I am not important enough to quit eating or drinking beer to go to the air port to see. Most dispise my military service anyway. So upon arrival, only a few even bother to say hello. The rest make me go to them to introduce Bel again. I was there for about 20 min, before we left. my mom took baby, and we got home and didn't leave each others arms till the next mourning.
The next mourning we went to the park with baby who had a rather big thing with me. He still does. Little turd loves me to death. I miss him. Any who we got to walking in the park, and I realised just how much I loved that woman. So, I did what any dumb ass does. I went to the jeweler, got a beautiful ring, and proposed to her before dinner. She said absolutely, and I finished what I started, and followed through on my promise to her. We wed on January 3 of 05.
I went back to Iraq after a short honey moon.
My last week in Baghdad, I got hurt pretty good. The sent me ahead to Kuwait, and I told them I would wait for treatment in Texas with her. I got off of the plain and at the welcome home reception with about 5000 soldiers families there too I spotted her instantly. She was in white. It was white denim pants with a white low cut low mid drift top. And It was hot. My buddies finally got to meet her, and helped me with my bags to my car as I was on crutches couse I was a hard ass. I was supposed to be in a wheelchair, but I hate the things. Things were pretty good the first 2 weeks, then they confirmed that I indeed needed a wheelchair, and things Changed. They we not bad, but it was different. I got out of the army, and times were tough with money, but we were not poor. We didn't live great but not bad. I was rehabbing on my own as no help from the VA was araiving. I was teaching myself how to walk, and thats when things got started down the path of no return. I was walking down the Mall with her when my leg gave out on some stairs. I fell down the stairs, and she walked off, angry. I tried to catch her and did about 5 min later. She told me that she was embarrassed to be seen with me and that I should go sit down. I did, hurt and actually pissed off at her for the first time ever. I went off and became a truck driver, making about 850 dollars a week, and she wanted me home more so I quit. Then I went in to selling cars. I made a lot of money. I am not joking. I averaged 4,500 a month, and we couldn't pay bills couse of her. 8 months later, I came home from work, and started to kook her dinner. It was veterans day, which is the day before my birthday.Nov 12. She walked in the kitchen, told me she couldn't stand being with a cripple anymore. She said she always thought of me as superman, but now just thought of me as a pathetic man who got hurt in a fake war. She told me I should have died so it would be over quick, instead of watching me become a shell of my former self. Happy birthday, and she left. No hesitation. Just got in the car and left. Then she proceeded to drag out a long expensive divorce that lasted until APR 24. That's 17 months. She tried to run up 20,000 dollars in debt too, but failed, as the courts sided with me. That dumb bitch told a retired marine judge that the left cousse of that. Fool. Any who that is the last time I wish to discuss this as the last year and a half were hell. The only bright spot was that special someone who took good care of me the best she could online.

The Ex

Ok, so I was asked to give my ex's story. Fair enough, I will indulge if only for story telling sake. There was an evil dragon that lived in a cave. ,..............oh wait, n/m
It all started my junior year in highschool. I was 16 at the time, and was walking through the halls with my friend Cris.
I was wearing a shirt from the beach that said If you can read this, pull me back in the boat. It was upside down, and displayed a picture of a guy falling into the water. As I was walking I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned rather annoyed to find the culprit, and saw the most amazingly beautiful human bieng I have ever witnessed. I felt like the world stopped. I developed tunnel vission, and was instantly hers.
When she said hello, I about fainted. No lie, I never went through anything like it since.
She told me she was a friend of my good friend jebus, and had been wanting to meet me for a month. My responce was I had been waiting to meet her my whole life. She asked if I would walk her to her class and I didnt even hesitate.
After school that day she asked if I wanted to hang out with her, and of course, I said yes. The minitue we were in (and this will sound cheesy, but its highschool) McDonnalds, she grabbed my hand and it felt like electricity flowing through out hands. We both just stared and smiled. We sat down to eat and never once let go of our hands. one of her friends made a comment that we would marry one day.
I walked her home, and just before her block, she Jumped up and Kissed me. I was hers. period.
We were together for around a month, before her dad made her break up with me for bieng white. She didnt want to tell me like that, so she just said she was calling it off. She was crying, and just ran off.
I didnt see her for almost a week. I was at school and In a freak accident, wound up needing 28 staples in my head.
I got taken to the hospital, and bieng that it was me, word traveled fast. There was noone who didnt know I was hurt pretty badly. Including her. The following day I returned to shcool, and upon my arrival, there she was, looking as beautiful as ever, and with a flower for me. I was sick to my stomache with happiness, and just walked up and kissed her. We were together for about 9 months after that incident, and then she became a bitch and broke up with me, for no reason. Just said get lost. I later found out she had to have a surgery, and didnt want me to know becouse her family would not let me around.
I went to prom with a good friend, went through summer without as much as a phone call, and most of the way through the next year. Yet every day I looked and hoped.
I graduated, and went to her house to tell her I was leaving for the army infront of her biker dad, uncles, and cousins. Walked right to the house, ignored any and all banter they sent my way and she met me before I made it to the door.
She said she couldnt talk anymore, and went inside. I walked right past the drunken male family members. Off to basic training. 6 months of thinking of her, and wanting to be with her. I worked my ass off. I made sure i made it so she would be proud. On my way home, she met me at the airport, in a shirt that was almost swimwear, and was designed like the american flag. This was after 9-11 so everyone was really breaking out the patriotism.
She told me she had assembled a party for me and all of my friends were waiting for me, and I told her I was only interested in her. She kissed me, and I carried her all the way to the car. we went to the party, there was plenty of wiskey, beer, friends, banter, and her! The only person missing was cris, but he was in school for the special forces, so it was almost perfect. We partied till about 2 in the mourning. I took her home and was met at the gate by said dad, uncles and cousins, and now her brother, whom became a freind. I thought they were gonna kick my ass, but stood my ground. Next thing i know we are listening to led zepplin and kiss, and there is a beer in my hand. We drank till about 6 am. She tried to come out and they sent her in, said it was male bonding time. lol. We were together the whole month I was home.
My orders came in to got to germany, and I asked her to go with me.
She said no.

I was crushed. Hurt, and felt betrayed. But when she said it was to go to school, I was instantly better. Then she told me to go experiance life. To be the partyman, and if i still wanted her, come back and get her. I made a promiss. I told her I would return and marry her.
Off I went, alone to the airport.
I arived in germany, met my new brothers, and we partied out asses off! We did things I will never bring up. Wild crazy and dumb. I called her every so offten, and she would tell me she was fine, and that she missed me, but that I shouldnt worry about her. She was doing exactly what I was doing and we were both ok.
I called one day and was told she moved. Broke my heart.
Then the war broke out and I had not time to even contimplate her existance. War will make you forget yourself, and everyone else around you.
Then I got hurt and met someone really special.
Part 2 tomarrow!

Le Divorce!

FREEEDOM!
Goddamn whore has a grip on my throat no more!
That's right folks it is official. My first real post begins with the liberation of my personal life. After two years of separation I have become a free and very happy spirit. I know there are those who will say: Your not supposed to talk bad, or we don't have her side. Fuck off, this isn't her blog. If you want her side, read her blog, though i doubt she has the intelligence to write one. A hyena that one is. Anyone selfish enough to leave their partner for getting hurt in as she called it, A Fake War, is a dumb senseless cunt.
So cheer me on my newly found freedom, and I will attempt to write something more relevant tomorrow!

My first entry!

Well folks if you are reading this then I am sorry. You are about to be bored and possibly loose IQ points. It is recommended that if you are going to continue further you have a stiff drink in hand and a sense of humor. I am by no means politically correct. In fact i find it offensive. I am not out to please anyone and if you are easily hurt, offended, or find words like fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, whore, dick, pussy,asshole, or any other language of this nature(colorful metaphors if you will), then read no farther. You will likely be subjected to things that will possibly hurt your feelings, and I have to be sensitive to your needs. I will endeavor to keep it as unprofain as possible though as no one likes a one trick pony.
Thanks again for reading, and I will endeavor to do my best not to use some of these words as my friend is attempting to get me to quit.